I am...

     I'm hoping not to offend anyone with this post, but when I set out to write a blog my aim was to write about not just the fluffy stuff, but the hard things too.  So, today I am going to stray from my typical blogs about getting ready for baby and write about something a little deeper, and a little more difficult to write about.  
     Not too long ago this photo showed up on my Facebook News Feed.  I have no idea who this little girl is, but she's adorable, so naturally I clicked on the picture to see what her sign was about.  When I read her sign it actually made me really sad, about what this beautiful little girl is being taught.  
     I've read the Bible; I have a Masters in Theology.  That by no means makes me an expert on this topic, but I do have some idea what I'm writing about, and my God would never tell me that I am dumb and that I am nothing.  In fact when I read the Bible, I find the opposite is true.  
     In the book of Proverbs 3:15 God says that we are more precious than silver, more costly than gold, more beautiful than diamonds and nothing compares to us.  
     In Jeremiah 1:5 God says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart."  The book of Jeremiah continues to tell us how worthy and loved we are in chapter 29:11 when we read, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  
     We learn that we are "marvelously and wonderfully made," in Psalm 139:14.  All of these Bible passages come from the Old Testament, where we also hear things like we are sinners, and fall short, but then the greatest day of all happens.  We see God's love for us like never before.  In the New Testament God shows us how grand His love for us is when He sends His only Son to die - for US.  Jesus lived in His mothers womb, was born and lived a fully human life - going through all of the struggles and strife of a human.  He was tempted as we are.  Not only was Jesus fully human but He was also fully divine.  He preformed miracles and His following grew.  The Kings and high and mighty powers of the time didn't like people following another human, who wasn't them, so Jesus was imprisoned and tortured.  He knew He was about to be killed, He was filled with horror and sadness, and He cried out to His Dad, "If it is possible let this cup be taken from me.  But your will be done, not mine."  - Matthew 26:39
     Can you imagine watching your child suffer, and cry for help?  You know he is going to be put through so much pain and suffering and be killed.  You could stop it, but you don't.  God didn't stop it because He knew that His Son had to die so that we, yes YOU and ME, could live.  My God loves me SO much.  He knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7).  
     
Religion tells me that I am:
- Precious
- Beautiful
- Worthy
- Set Apart
- Prosperous
- Marvelous
- Wonderful
- Loved more than anything in the world
     
     And this is not even scratching the surface of what religion tells me about how great I am.  Not only that, but in the pages of the Bible I am given advice, and put at ease.  I am comforted and encouraged.  
     A Bible verse that I clung to for a long time says, "Be still, and know that I am God." - Psalm 46:10.  To me, this says, "(Be still) calm down, relax, don't worry (and know) don't think or wonder, but have faith in the fact (that I am God), I am God - the one who created you and loves you so much that I sent my Son to die, for YOU.  Relax, I got this."  
     After actually reading the Bible and researching biblical times and cultures and traveling to Israel and learning so much about religion I can't see how people can be so against something that teaches love, and the golden rule (treat others how you would like to be treated), it teaches us to help others and encourages us through difficult times.  I wouldn't be able to survive one day without my faith and religion.  

Our Daughter

     This past weekend we went up north to visit my husbands family.  While on the road I said to Brian, "I hope our daughter is like you."  He responded with something like, "why?" or "what do you mean?"  I told him that I hope she is smart like him, and that he has so many good qualities I would love for her to have.  His next question surprised me.  He asked, "What do you want her to have from you?"  

     I'm not sure why this question surprised me so much.  Maybe because we were talking about him, and if we were talking about me I'd probably want to hear more about me, and not think to change the topic to him.  I don't know, but the question, 'what do I want my daughter to have from me,' was a really hard question.  I answered, "My eyes.  I have my daddy's eyes and I think it would be fun for her to have them too."  

     For my husband, I could come up with a million character traits, in a heartbeat, that I want our daughter to have.  For me, I could only come up with one trait - a physical one.  Eventually I came up with more, that I want her to be outgoing like me and confident enough to dance around and raise her hand in class, but, "I don't want her to be so outgoing where she talks all the time because that's annoying."  

     This simple conversation in the car made me wonder so many things.  Why is it so easy for us to see the good in others and more difficult to see it in ourselves?  Are we really that hard on ourselves or do we just not really think about our own character traits?  It also made me wonder if I came up with a physical trait for me, because I'm a girl.  I know that females are more than just pretty faces, but all of the media we see daily tells us differently.  Has the media affected my thoughts that much, enough to make my first thought of females be of beauty before all of the other things that women are so great at?  So many women have such fantastic inner beauty, which is what really matters!  I am a grown woman, and if I am so affected by what I see on the internet, TV and in magazines, I can't imagine how much it affects young girls!  

     I hope our daughter is smart, and kind.  That she is friendly and good at friendship. I hope she is helpful and happy and full of life.  I hope she is playful and can be herself, not try to be someone else.  I have lots of high hopes for our daughter, but most of all I hope she knows how much she is loved, and that she is loved for her inner beauty not just whats on the outside.